Boyfriend’s Body Odor Smells!
By: Couples Counseling Staff
You love your boyfriend. You really do. Your relationship isn’t in a bad place but you must admit you have one problem: his junk smells terrible! If you have been holding your breath each time you need to go near that thing or suffer from mini panic attacks at the thought of blowing his bubbles, please realize you are not alone. Many women bring this issue up with their relationship counselor during individual therapy and ask the following question: What on earth died down there?!
This is no way to live and can be a real downer (no pun intended) on your sex life. You may be wondering if there is anything you can realistically do to make him aware of the problem without hurting his feelings. As it turns out – the answer is yes!
What follows are five practical suggestions for creating positive change in the area of your boyfriend’s B.O. with the end goal in mind of enhancing intimacy. Believe it or not, this is a topic that comes up somewhat frequently in sex therapy for couples.
FYI: Keep in mind there may be a medical reason for your man’s funk – which is something should consider as part of the dynamic. An example might be that your guy has an overactive gland that causes him to sweat profusely. Medications for certain conditions have also been known to cause an unpleasant smell.
Are ready? Let’s jump right in!
1. Intimacy conversations
Before you can have a discussion with your man about what is going on in his pants, you will want to spend some time reflecting on the types of discussions you have had in the past on the topic of sex. Taking the time to do this will help you to determine how he might respond to any commentary you might have about the odor.
Tip: It is critical that the two of you not avoid intimacy related topics – particularly at the start of your relationship. If you stick your head in the sand, you run the risk of creating emotional distance, which in turn can lead to a breakup.
2. Timing is everything
Another important consideration will be timing. Perhaps the worst time to show your displeasure over the situation is during a moment of closeness. Not only will this be a buzz-kill for what may be happening in the sheets, it will likely cause your man to become self-conscious and potentially damage his self-esteem.
In truth, this is just one of those items that can be added to the list of things you should never say to your boyfriend (particularly during the act). This leads us to our next point – the “how to” talk about it.
3. Shower approach
One way to draw attention to the issue without directly pointing your finger at his offensive membrane is to cleverly hint at the issue. You can do this simply by jumping in the shower with him before engaging in something intimate and then start soaping it up for him. Yes – you read that right.
If he asks you why you are doing what you are doing, simply respond with a variation of the following, “I kind of like the smell of soap on it – plus doing this is kind of fun.” If done properly, you will draw his awareness around the scent of his junk and cause him to think more about what’s going on down there. If this particular approach doesn’t seem practical to you – consider the next tip.
4. Buy deodorant soap for men
Some women have found success by picking up a new brand of deodorant soap and placing it in the shower. Merely putting the soap out, however, will not be enough. In order to get him to use it, you will need to create an incentive. One approach is to let him know you purchased that bar of (Dial, Coast, Fill In the Blank) because the scent turns you on.
If you decide this is a good option for you, make sure you buy something from your local market that is specifically labeled deodorant soap for men. None of that rose pedal stuff you get for yourself. He isn’t going to use that! Do yourself a favor and get a brand that is specifically made for dudes that targets all of the important areas. Here we are talking about his armpits, butt and groin.
5. Direct approach
The final approach you can take is the direct one. Expanding on point #1 made earlier, you will want to pick the appropriate time and place to carefully and delicately let him know that something is rotten in the state of Denmark. One option is to share with him that sometimes when you the two of you are intimate, there are odors taking place that interfere with your ability to experience mutual pleasure. Avoid being critical at all costs.
Tip: Guide him towards information that is designed to educate and inform. Not to stereotype girls but most men aren’t all that concerned with private parts in the same way that we are. Believe it or not, there is actually a guide for cleaning and grooming the genital areas for men. This might be something you want to share with him (hint). Just remember to do so carefully.
Final Thoughts
If you have been holding your breath and trying to muster through like a trooper, we commend you for your efforts. Hey – putting up with that kind of nastiness in pursuit of love isn’t easy!
Hopefully, the information shared here will help to effect meaningful change so that the both of you can move about the business of greater intimacy.
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Gawd!