Painful Intercourse
By: Couples Counseling Staff
Painful intercourse is a very real problem for many women who are trying to enjoy a sexual relationship with a partner. It’s a topic that is not often discussed and widely misunderstood according to research. This is understandable when you consider that the topic of sex continues to be taboo in many circles of our society. As therapists who work with many couples around intimacy issues, we can assure you this problem comes up frequently.
The brief article presented here is designed to help shed light on two common causes of painful intercourse in women. As part of our post, we have also included resources for more information. A poll has been posted at the end to let you chime in about this topic without having to reveal your identity.
Are you ready to learn more about painful intercourse causes in women?
Let’s jump right in!
Painful Intercourse Causes
There are two generally recognized sexual pain disorders in women, vaginismus and dyspareunia. We will take a look at both of these and highlight general symptoms that accompany each condition. It is important to state here that pain during sex can be caused by a number of factors.
This is why it is critical that you get examined by your medical doctor anytime you experience pain or discomfort when engaging in intercourse. Consider what follows informational in nature and not for self-diagnostic purposes.
1) Vaginismus
Vaginismus is a term used to describe a condition in which involuntary contractions of the muscles around the outer third layer of the vagina prevent entry of the penis. Severe cases can cause a couple from ever attempting intercourse.
Women with severe cases of vaginismus commonly avoid gynecological examinations because they carry feelings of shame and guilt about the problem. Some believe the issue will go away on its own and simply don’t want to talk about it. Women who have previously experienced some of sexual assault or trauma are particularly reluctant to speak about this issue – even with their doctor or therapist.
Generally speaking, there are two primary causes of vaginismus in women; medical and psychological. Below we have walked through each area and outlined specifics under each area.
Causes of Vaginismus
Vaginismus can be caused by a number of medical causes. We have listed some of the more common ones below but will state here our list is not exhaustive. Again, this is why it is so important to talk to your medical doctor about any experiences of pain during sex.
Medical Causes
- Yeast Infections
- Urinary Tract Infections
- Sexually Transmitted Infections
- Other medical conditions like vulvodynia
Psychological Causes
Barring any medical causes, there can be psychological issues at play that cause spasms around the muscles of the vagina that can interfere with intercourse. Most mental health clinicians agree with the cognitive-behavioral position that vaginismus is usually a conditioned fear response (LoPiccolo, 1995).
Part of the fear can be traced to a woman’s anticipation that insertion will be painful and potentially damaging. This is particularly true if the male is considered to be large. Because there is commonly anxiety and embarrassment associated with this issue, the topic is commonly avoided.
Psychological Causes
- Fear
- Generalized Anxiety Disorder
- Stress
- Past Trauma
- Deep feelings of shame
2) Dyspareunia
A person with dyspareunia (Latin for “painful mating”) experiences extreme discomfort in the genital areas during intercourse. It is important to note that dyspareunia is not restricted to women as men can also have this disorder.
Females who suffer from dyspareunia typically enjoy sex but find that intimacy is often limited by the pain. This is unfortunate because for many of these women, sex has historically been a positive experience.
In many cases, dyspareunia is usually connected to a physical cause. Below we have listed some of the more common culprits:
Medical/Physical Causes
- Injury to vagina, cervix, uterus or pelvic ligaments during childbirth.
- Episiotomies (a cut made to enlarge vaginal entrance for easier delivery).
- Collision of the penis with parts of the hymen
- Some type of infection of the vagina
- Allergic reactions to chemicals in vaginal douches
- Certain creams and lubricants that cause inflammation
- Proteins in the semen [rare] (LoPiccolo, J; Stock, W E, 1987)
Again with this disorder, there is generally a physical/medical issue happening in the background. A previous history of sexual abuse can certainly contribute to the problem. In many ways, psychological factors can amplify a medical issue when it comes to painful intercourse.
FYI: A woman can have a dual diagnosis of dyspareunia and vaginismus.
Treatment for Vaginismus
Any women who experiences pain during sexual intercourse needs to visit their medical doctor for an examination. If you go to your family medical doctor, you will likely be referred to a specialist called a gynecologist. Various tests may be conducted during the examination to rule out potential medical causes and to assess things like cysts and tumors.
If you have been diagnosed with vaginismus, there are a number of things you can do at home naturally that can help encourage relief.
Natural Vaginismus treatments include:
- Progressive desensitization
- Kegal exercises
- Mindful meditation
- Guided imagery
We are including a book recommendation below that offers a 10 step program for naturally working through vaginismus by Mark Carter. This resource is designed to provide women and their partners with real world, no non-sense, easy to follow strategies to overcome vaginismus.
The material inside explores the roles of both body and mind as factors contributing to pain during sex. Suggestions are made to help overcome negative internal psychological messages and change thinking in ways that relax the body and make intercourse more enjoyable.
Treatment for Dyspareunia
If you have been diagnosed with dyspareunia, your medical doctor may run some tests to help determine potential medical causes for your discomfort. Medications are sometimes prescribed. If you are having an allergic reaction to a product, such as a douche or certain forms of latex, your doctor may make suggestions for alternatives.
As in the case of vaginismus, there are certain things a woman can do to treat the psychological effects of dyspareunia.
Natural approaches include:
- Systematic desensitization
- Talk-Therapy
- Cognitive Behavioral therapy
We are making a book recommendation here to help provide more insight on dyspareunia and several other disorders that frequently cause sexual discomfort in women. Freeing Yourself from Pelvic Pain by Claudia Amherd offers readers a 7 step approach to naturally reducing pain while challenging unhealthy thinking patterns related to intercourse.
The critical part of this book is a step-by-step, easy to follow program that is designed to fit into your daily routine. Empowering exercises are offered to help overcome anxiety, fear and shame while also reducing some of the physical discomfort you may be feeling.
Final Thoughts
Pain during intercourse is a very serious issue for many women. Anxiety and fears of being judged often prevent dialogue about this topic. The great thing about sex based counseling is that you have a safe, nurturing and non-judgmental place to share what you are going through confidentially.
Depending upon the dynamics, you may be offered a referral to a gynecologist to rule out medical causes for your discomfort.
If you are like most women, you want to arrive at a place where intercourse is enjoyable. We can help with suggestions for enhancing intimacy with your mate while encouraging more transparent dialogue around the entire topic of sex.
Below we have included a poll on the topic pain during sex that we hope you will vote in. Please bear in mind the results are not scientific but do offer a snapshot into what many may be experiencing. We also encourage you to read our article on fears of intimacy since what has been explored here is intrinsically linked.
Thank you for visiting the Couples Counseling Center online! We hope you found the material presented here on painful intercourse causes in women useful. Please Like us on Facebook, Circle us on Google+ and Tweet on Twitter!
References:
LoPiccolo, J. (1995). Sexual disorders and gender identity disorders. (2 ed.). New York: Freeman.
LoPiccolo, J; Stock, W E. (1987). Sexual function, dysfunction and counseling in gynecological practice. New York: Macmillan.