Womanizer Warning Signs
By: Couples Counseling Staff
If a guy is a natural womanizer, the chances are high that his bad boy image is part of what attracted you to him in the first place. After all, a womanizer appears to have a lot going for him on the surface – he’s charming, he’s good looking and he’s endlessly fun to be around, even if you aren’t the only one that he’s “around.” All of that stopped as soon as you two made it official, though, right? Not necessarily.
An old saying goes “once a womanizer, always a womanizer,” and there are a few key signs that you need to watch out for that may indicate his flirty ways aren’t as much in the past as you would be led to believe.
Womanizer 101
Here at Couples Counseling Center, we’ve explored the topic of dating and men with a focus on specific “types” of guys to look out for. Here, we’re talking about everything from bad boys to guys who like to give the silent treatment.
It is important to state here that we don’t think all men are “dogs”. That’s simply a ridiculous over-generalization. We do, however, think that it is important to recognize the common signs of men who are just looking for a good time.
What follows are 10 red flags that guy you are dating could be a womanizer. It’s important to not base your thoughts on just one characteristic because it could be a random fluke. If you see several of these in tandem however, something is probably up.
Let’s jump right in!
1) He’s Overly Complimentary
Womanizers are nothing if not complimentary. Truth be told, they know how to make a gal feel special. However, if your man just will not seem to stop complimenting you, especially when you yourself don’t think that it is warranted, you may be looking at someone who is still “playing the field.”
2) He Calls You By the Wrong Name
One of the hardest parts about being a womanizer is that you have to keep all of the girls in your head straight. Serial womanizers have this ability down pat while newbies require more experience. If you man gets your name wrong on multiple occasions or continually refers to you as “babe”, consider this a potential womanizer red flag.
3) His Social Media Accounts
If you take a look at your man’s social media accounts and notice that most of his posts come from relatives and his guy friends, you’re probably looking at someone who is fairly solid.
But if your man is getting random posts from female admirers or if you notice he has hidden his “friends list” you should start to be concerned. You need to ask yourself: “What’s up with that?”
4) He’s Secretive
Speaking of secrets, keeping things from you in general is one of the biggest signs that you might be looking at a womanizer.
If he gets incredibly defensive whenever you ask who he just got a text message from or who that missed call was from, he’s probably hiding something much more sinister that he doesn’t want you to know about. This can be a major sign of cheating.
5) He Doesn’t Want to Talk About the Future
One of the easiest ways to tell if you’re looking at a womanizer involves bringing up the future in any capacity – especially if your idea of the future involves the two of you together.
Ask him what he thinks your life together will look like in ten years – where you’ll be, what you’ll be doing and more. If he dodges the question or, worse, gets mad that you asked it in the first place, you’re probably looking at a womanizer.
6) Female Friends (Or Lack Thereof)
For most women, it’s really no big deal when your man has platonic female friends. After all, you’ve probably got some platonic male friends of your own.
However, if you look at your boyfriend’s social circle and see a noticeable lack of women that he just considers to be close friends and nothing more, there may be a reason for it that you will need to confront sooner rather than later.
7) You Don’t Spend a Lot of Time Around His Friends
Think of every steady relationship that you’ve ever had. If they had anything in common, it’s probably that you hung out with that particular guy’s friends quite a bit. You may have loved some and hated others, but at least you knew who they were.
If you’ve never been introduced to his male friends and they may otherwise not exist, even though he talks about them all the time, there’s probably a reason for that: he brings a lot of girls around and doesn’t want them to spill the beans.
8) His Friends Confuse You For Other People
If you DO spend a lot of time around your guy’s friends, however, pay attention for a few key slip ups. If his guy friends are all having a hard time calling you by the right name, it may be a sign that he brings quite a few girls around from time to time.
One of his friends mixing up your name is one thing – maybe you look just like a girl he knows elsewhere in his personal life. If multiple friends do it? It’s a sign that you shouldn’t be ignoring. Ding – Ding – Ding … those alarm bells should be going off.
9) Non-Verbal Signs
If you want to confirm beyond the shadow of a doubt that your man is a womanizer, don’t listen to the things that he tells you with his mouth. Pay attention to the things that he’s telling you with his body.
If every time you go out to dinner he checks out a hot waitress when he thinks that you aren’t looking, or if he starts flirting with that waitress when he doesn’t realize that you’re on your way back to the table from the bathroom, he’s probably still sticking to his womanizing ways.
10) His Reputation
If your man has truly changed, people will begin to take notice. If your guy still has a reputation of being a bit of a ladies man, even if you two have been together for quite some time, guess what: he hasn’t changed one bit and you should probably just move on.
Womanizer Resources
If you find yourself repeatedly in relationships with men who fit the characteristics described above, you may want to think about individual counseling that focuses on your dating patterns.
What’s nice about this form of one on one therapy is that it provides a safe outlet to explore the reasons why you find yourself attracted to these kinds of men in the first place. Wouldn’t it be great to end the cycle of pain?
Inside, you will find lots of useful insight that can help you better understand what it is about these men that seems to draw you into their snare – again and again.
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Watch out if he’s guarding his phone like a hawk or has to leave the room to take a call. I should know, I used to be one of those guys.