7 Ways to Spot a Player You Must Know!

how to spot a player

Know How to Spot a Player?

By: Couples Counseling Staff

It’s something that unfortunately happens each and every day – a woman falls head over heels for a guy only to find out that he’s actually a player.” He isn’t all about her feelings at all – instead, he’s doing what he knows will work to get exactly what he wants before he moves on.

If you’re sick and tired of having your heart broken and falling into the “player” trap, the prevention process begins by knowing exactly what you should be looking for before you get sucked in.

There are seven specific ways to spot a player that you absolutely must know. Some of these signs may strike you as obvious while others will require deeper thinking. Read them all so that you can fully absorb their collective characteristics.

Are you ready? Let’s jump right in!




7 signs of a player

1. A Player is About Your Looks

One of the main attributes of a player involves steering the conversation in the direction of your appearance at almost all times. He may not be able to stop talking about how pretty your eyes are or how great that dress you’re wearing really looks.

What he’s really doing is trying to make you as comfortable as possible and trying to make you think that he only has eyes for you. While it’s true that some people will be outwardly affectionate about appearance, it also happens to be one of the main hallmarks of players.

2. A Player Talks in Generalities 

Another thing to consider when you’re trying to spot a player has to do with the things he says and the types of messages that he sends you. Say you wake up in the morning and get what appears to be a sweet, wonderful “Good Morning” text message from a guy. Once you get over that initial pleasure, think about what the message is really saying.

Does it have any information about you, personally? Is it referencing a specific place that you went and had a great time, or is it really general in nature? If all of the messages that you get are general, he may be sending them to more than one person because he knows that they’ll work.

3. A Player is Really, Really Into Himself

The only thing a player likes talking about more than how great you look is how great he is. Have you run into a guy who can’t stop talking about how much money he makes, what a fancy car he drives or all the clubs that he goes to?

You may be staring at a grade-A player and not even realize it. The overriding characteristic to be on the lookout for is narcissistic behaviors – including being emotionally unavailable.

4. A Player Acts Like It’s a Chore to Make Time For You

One of the more subtle things that a player can do involves taking “playing hard to get” to a whole new level. Every time you want to see your new guy, does he make it seem like he has to rearrange the world’s busiest schedule in order to do so?

Does he make it seem like it’s a complete and total chore to make time for you? If the answer to those two questions is “yes,” you may be involved with a player.

5. A Player Steers Everything Towards Sex

Players tend to like one thing above all else: sex. Does the new guy that you’re with try to steer everything in the direction of sex? Does he get irritated when you don’t want to publicly display affection, or if you don’t want to stay over at his place at night?

These are classic indications that you’re actually dealing with a player.

6. A Player Probably Already Has a Reputation

One of the major calling cards of being a player is the reputation that comes with that status. Did a new guy enter your group of friends and turn his attention towards you immediately? If the guy that you’re into is actually a player, it stands to reason that he likely already has a reputation to back that up. Start asking around to see what you can find out.

Check out his social media pages to see what stands out. Do most of the pictures of him show him at clubs? Does he seem to always be surrounded by other women? Pay attention to it all.

7. A Player “Plays the Field” While He’s Out With You

One of the many things that you need to keep in mind is that no matter what a player says, you probably aren’t the only girl that he’s “playing” at the moment.

If a guy is overly flirty, even to a cute waitress at a restaurant while you’re out together, there’s a good chance he’s a player – and playing you!

Final Thoughts

If you have been “played” before there is a good chance you are hurting. On book we would like to recommend is Mr. Unavailable and the Fallback Girl. It’s all about the types of guys we are talking about here and the women who fall for them.

Some women find it helpful to engage in one on one relationship counseling to help better understand their patterns of dating. One of the great benefits of working with a therapist trained in matters of the heart is that you can gain new insight into how you approach love and break the cycle of pain and sadness.

There is a reason some people who are single are generally happy … its because they don’t fall victim to players.

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