Polyamory & ENM Counseling in Chicago

Navigating polyamory, ethical non-monogamy (ENM), or open relationships comes with unique joys and unique challenges. Whether you’re exploring consensual non-monogamy for the first time, working through jealousy in your polycule, or establishing boundaries across multiple partnerships, you deserve a therapist who truly gets it.

At 2nd Story Consultants, we provide affirming, knowledgeable counseling for polyamorous and ENM relationships throughout Chicago and surrounding areas. Our approach recognizes that there’s no one “right” way to structure intimate relationships—and that non-traditional relationship models deserve the same thoughtful, evidence-based support as any other.

What Is Ethical Non-Monogamy?

Ethical non-monogamy (ENM) is an umbrella term for relationship structures where all partners consent to having multiple romantic or sexual connections. Unlike cheating or infidelity, ENM is built on honesty, communication, and mutual agreement.

Common forms of ethical non-monogamy include:

• Polyamory: Having multiple romantic relationships with the knowledge and consent of everyone involved
• Open relationships: A committed couple that allows sexual or romantic connections with others
• Relationship anarchy: Rejecting relationship hierarchies and allowing each connection to develop organically
• Swinging: Couples who engage in sexual activities with others, typically in social settings
• Hierarchical polyamory: Distinguishing between primary, secondary, and other partner levels
• Solo polyamory: Maintaining independence while having multiple partnerships without hierarchy

Whatever structure works for you and your partners, therapy can help you navigate the complexities with clarity and compassion.

Why Choose Specialized ENM Counseling?

Too many couples in open or polyamorous relationships have sat across from a therapist who didn’t understand their relationship structure—or worse, who pathologized it. You shouldn’t have to spend your therapy sessions educating your therapist about polyamory basics or defending your choices.

Our Chicago-based practice offers counseling specifically tailored to the realities of ethical non-monogamy:

• No judgment: We view polyamory and ENM as valid relationship choices, not problems to be fixed
• Informed approach: We understand the language, dynamics, and common challenges of non-monogamous relationships
• Practical tools: We help you develop communication skills, boundary-setting strategies, and conflict resolution techniques specific to ENM
• Inclusive perspective: We recognize the overlap between ENM communities and LGBTQ+ identities and provide affirming care for all orientations and gender identities

Common Challenges in Polyamorous & ENM Relationships

While every relationship faces hurdles, polyamorous and ENM relationships navigate some unique territory. Here are some of the issues we help Chicago-area clients work through:

Managing Jealousy and Insecurity

Jealousy doesn’t disappear just because you’ve agreed to non-monogamy. We help you identify the root causes of jealous feelings, develop self-soothing techniques, and communicate needs effectively rather than letting insecurity spiral.

Communication Across Multiple Partnerships

When you’re balancing multiple relationships—whether you’re in Lakeview seeing your nesting partner before heading to Andersonville to meet your other partner—communication becomes exponentially more complex. We’ll help you establish clear expectations, practice active listening, and navigate difficult conversations with honesty.

Boundary Setting and Agreements

What agreements work for your specific constellation? How do you handle situations where boundaries get blurry? We help you and your partners establish sustainable agreements, revisit them as relationships evolve, and address boundary violations with care. This includes creating boundaries around the engagement in kink or role-play (if applicable).

Time Management and Scheduling

Between work, social commitments, and multiple partners across Chicago’s neighborhoods—from Logan Square to Hyde Park—finding time for everyone can feel overwhelming. We’ll work on practical strategies for balancing competing needs without burning out.

Transitioning to or from Non-Monogamy

Opening up a previously monogamous relationship or closing a previously open one involves significant emotional navigation. We provide support during these transitions, helping you move forward with intention rather than reactivity.

Navigating “Couple Privilege” in Hierarchical Structures

If you practice hierarchical polyamory, how do you honor secondary or tertiary partners while maintaining your primary relationship? We help you examine power dynamics and ensure all partners feel respected and valued.

Dealing with Social Stigma

From family members who don’t understand to friends in Wicker Park who make insensitive comments, navigating the outside world’s reactions to your relationship structure can be exhausting. Therapy provides a space to process these experiences and develop resilience.

Intimacy and Sexual Health

How do you maintain emotional intimacy across partnerships? What safer sex practices work for your polycule? We address both the emotional and practical aspects of physical and sexual intimacy in ENM relationships.

Our Approach to Polyamory Counseling

We integrate evidence-based therapeutic approaches with deep respect for relationship diversity as part of our Chicago couples therapy:

• Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT): Helping you understand attachment needs across multiple partnerships
• Gottman Method: Building friendship, managing conflict, and creating shared meaning—adapted for polyamorous dynamics
• Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT): Addressing unhelpful thought patterns around jealousy, comparison, and self-worth
• Systemic approaches: Understanding how each relationship affects the larger relationship ecosystem

We also draw from resources within the polyamory community itself, including works by Franklin Veaux, Eve Rickert, and other thought leaders in ethical non-monogamy.

Who Can Benefit from ENM Couples Counseling?

Our polyamory and ENM counseling services support:

• Couples considering opening their relationship for the first time
• Established polyamorous triads, quads, or larger polycules
• Partners navigating jealousy or insecurity in open relationships
• People practicing solo polyamory who want to explore relationship patterns
• Couples dealing with the aftermath of broken agreements or boundaries
• Those transitioning from monogamy to ENM (or vice versa)
• Partners who want to strengthen communication and deepen intimacy
• People processing the intersection of polyamory with LGBTQ+ identity

Whether you’re in Bucktown, Lincoln Park, Pilsen, or anywhere in the Chicago area, we’re here to support your relationship journey.

Online Therapy for Polyamorous & ENM Relationships

We understand that coordinating schedules across multiple partners and Chicago’s neighborhoods can be complicated. That’s why we offer online therapy sessions, making it easier to access support from wherever you are—whether you’re at home in Rogers Park or traveling for work.

Virtual sessions provide:

• Flexibility for busy schedules across multiple relationships
• Privacy and comfort of attending from your own space
• Accessibility for partners who live in different Chicago neighborhoods or suburbs
• Continuity of care even when life gets hectic

Getting Started with Polyamory Counseling in Chicago

Taking the step to seek therapy for your polyamorous or ENM relationships shows real commitment to growth and connection. You don’t have to navigate these challenges alone.

Ready to work with a therapist who understands your relationship structure? Contact Couples Counseling Chicago today to schedule a consultation. We’re here to help you build the healthy, fulfilling relationships you deserve—whatever form they take.

Frequently Asked Questions About Polyamory & ENM Counseling

Do I need to bring all my partners to therapy?

Not necessarily. Some clients come individually to work on their own relationship skills and emotional patterns. Others bring one specific partnership to focus on that dynamic. Some bring their entire polycule for group sessions. We’ll work with whatever configuration makes sense for your goals.

Will you try to convince me to be monogamous?

Absolutely not. We view ethical non-monogamy as a valid and healthy relationship choice. Our goal is to help you thrive within the relationship structure you’ve chosen, not to push you toward monogamy. This is a common question that comes up in our Chicago Kink friendly therapy.

How do you handle confidentiality when working with multiple partners?

We establish clear confidentiality agreements at the start of therapy. If working with individuals from the same polycule separately, we discuss what information can be shared and what stays private. Transparency is key.

What if my partner(s) and I have different relationship philosophies?

Differences in approach to polyamory—like hierarchical versus non-hierarchical structures—are common. Therapy can help you find common ground, negotiate agreements, and determine whether your relationship philosophies are compatible.

Do you provide counseling for polyamorous breakups?

Yes. Ending one relationship within a polycule, dissolving an entire polycule, or transitioning relationship structures all come with unique grief and complexity. We provide support during these transitions.

How long does polyamory counseling typically take?

It varies based on your goals. Some clients come for short-term support around a specific issue, while others engage in longer-term work to develop communication skills and deepen intimacy. We’ll collaborate with you to determine what makes sense.

Do you work with people who are new to polyamory?

Definitely. Whether you’re just opening up a previously monogamous relationship or exploring ENM for the first time, we can help you navigate this transition thoughtfully and intentionally.